The twitches

You know how they say it takes 21 days to break a habit?

THAT'S A LIE.

It's been 29 days. Since it started on March 1, it's relatively easy for me to keep track. It ends April 16.

I have 2 weeks left.

More than 2 weeks.

The twitching has started.

And it isn't just for Cheeseburgers, although I miss them so much I could cry. (Thanks MlissLo for not having one today because you're pretending to be me because Shoeism is currently hiatusing. Don't think I didn't notice. I noticed. I love you for it.)

I miss coca-cola. I want to crack open a condensation-wet can and pour it into an iced mug, and I want to glug-glug. I don't even want to wait for the fizz to fizz down a little, I am looking forward to the choking bit in the beginning. I'm not even going to mention the rum that belongs in there.

And chocolate. I miss chocolate so much. Chocolate? I miss you. I love you. Never leave me, even though I have temporarily turned my back on you. I will enjoy you so much come Easter that I may go into chocoholic shock the next day. I'm not even kidding. I'm going to go ahead and schedule a dentist appointment as a pre-emptive strike for two days later. Hm? Why two days? Well, cause by then hopefully they will have revived me and my teeth will become an issue.

This is self-inflicted misery. I've never been public with it before, so it feels a little strange. But I put myself through something similiar to this almost EVERY YEAR.

Because I am stupid, yes.

Side effects

In the passed week, a grand total of five people have accused me of losing weight.

That seemed like an excessive number of observations so I decided to look into it myself.

I put on my tightest pants (you know, those ones that you have to lie on your back to zip up and look really really great with a flowy top or a clingy turtleneck) and tried to breathe.

And could.

So there may be some truth to the comments. And apparently it is noticable. I can only conclude that because I am with myself every day all the time with almost no respite, I have simply not noticed. But now that it's been brought to my attention, I'm concerned.

I'm withering away to nothing! What's next? My butt? Will my butt go?!

This is upsetting.

Well. Not really. It would take a while for my butt to go.

This is most definitely a side effect of going Cheeseburgers-free for weeks. Cheeseburgers, coca-cola, chocolate (that's the most painful and I've fallen off the wagon 4 times), and liquor-free for weeks.

This is the side effects... of MISERY.

I will console myself with thoughts and daydreams of double Cheeseburgers come Easter morning.

Day 21

I loathe AAFRHG. Loathe. You wanna know why? I'll tell you why. Oooooh I'll TELL you why. Picture it. You're hungry. You're me. You've been Cheeseburgerless for THREE WEEKS. And then... this. He knows I'm Cheeseburgerless, too. He knows, the bastard.

AAFRHG - (comes into my office, eating a, *breath catches* Cheeseburger) Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........
Thérèse - (mouth falls open)
AAFRHG - (mouth full) This is sooo good...
Thérèse - (almost cries)
AAFRHG - That's what you get for calling me a tea fairy*!
Thérèse - (mouth starts to water against its own will)
AAFRHG - (leaves, chewing loudly and obnoxiously)
Thérèse - THAT'S JUST CRUEL YOU KNOW!


The worst part was that it smelled like Cheeseburgers in my office for minutes.






*A few days earlier, he had left a new and exciting kind of tea for me in my office for me to find the next morning. It was a compliment!

Day 14

But who's counting.

I am buckling under peer pressure. It is list day according to Cols.

List of things I miss about Cheeseburgers:

1. The first moments that I have one in my hand and I talk to it for a second, hoping no one will notice.
2. The taste. OOH THE TASTE.
3. Flipping a Cheeseburger upside down, that fraction of a second before I sink my teeth into it. Mmm.
4. The fact that each Cheeseburger is different and unique and has its own special appeal to it.
5. EATING THEM

I need to stop there. Before I fall off the wagon.

Day 7

This is really hard.

Twice already I have almost caved. I have sweated over this for a grand total of about three hours since it all began. And it is only day (looks at calendar) seven.

I mean, I knew it would be hard, but this is really, really, really, hard.

The first Cheeseburger I eat once lent is over will be... orgasmically good.

I'm pretty sure God is cool with that sentence.

Day 3

Lent. That special time of year where you deprive yourself of stuff you love for over a month. To meditate, learn to appreciate and be able to put yourself in others' shoes. Well, that's what I do anyway.

This isn't a religious post. I just wanted to let you know that until Easter, I am giving up Cheeseburgers. So don't be too surprised if there aren't any posts here for a while, unless I fall off the wagon, trip over any Cheeseburgers with my mouth or something else equally freaky and Cheeseburgers-related happens.

(If you actually are curious and feel like asking me about it, you're welcome to do so in email.)